he thought i was a dude.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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