Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
