I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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