I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
