I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Couch. On fire.
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