How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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