what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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