I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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