you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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