Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
