I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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