I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
