I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
