i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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