so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
