I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
