I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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