My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
