so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
