is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize