Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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