I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
