see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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