Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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