my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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