HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
