Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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