So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
