Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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