Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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