The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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