the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
