Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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