Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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