I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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