Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
