Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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