i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
