STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
