she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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