sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
