I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
