Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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