Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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