i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize