The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
