Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
