Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
