Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
