Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
