Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
