Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
