Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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