Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
