is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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