Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
