he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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