His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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