have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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