Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's just like the Real World with babies
mondays should just be called national damage control day
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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